第 26 章
嘉丁納太太一碰到有適當的機會和伊莉莎白單獨談話,總是善意地對外甥女進行忠告,把心裏的話老老實實講了出來,然後又接下去說:你是個非常懂事的孩子,麗萃,你不至於因為人家勸你談戀愛要當心,你就偏偏要談;因此我才敢向你說個明白。說正經話,你千萬要小心。跟這種沒有財產作為基礎的人談戀愛,實在非常莽撞,你千萬別讓自己墮上情網,也不要費盡心機使他墮入情網。我並不是說他的壞話──他倒是個再有趣不過的青年;要是他得到了他應當得到的那份財產,那我就會覺得你這門親事再好也沒有了。事實既是如此,你大可不必再對他想入非非。你很聰明,我們都希望你不要辜負了自己的聰明。我知道你父親信任你品行好,又有決斷,你切不可叫他失望。”親愛的舅母,你真是鄭重其事。”是呀,我希望你也能夠鄭重其事。”唔,你用不著急。我自己會當心,也會當心韋翰先生。只要我避免得了,我決不會叫他跟我戀愛。”伊莉莎白,你這話可就不鄭重其事啦。”請原諒。讓我重新講講看。目前我可並沒有愛上韋翰先生;我的確沒有。不過在我所看見的人當中,他的確是最可愛的一個,任誰也比不上他;如果他真會愛上我──我相信他還是不要愛上我的好。我看出了這件事很莽撞。噢!達西先生那麼可惡!父親這樣器重我,真是我最大的榮幸,我要是辜負了他,一定會覺得遺憾。可是我父親對韋翰也有成見。親愛的舅母,總而言之,我決不願意叫你們任何人為了我而不快活;不過,青年人一旦愛上了什麼人,決不會因為暫時沒有錢就肯撒手。要是我也給人家打動了心,我又怎能免俗?甚至我又怎麼知道拒絕他是不是上策?因此,我只能答應你不倉忙從事就是了。我決不會一下子就認為我自己是他最中意的人。我雖然和他來往,可是決不會存這種心思。總而言之,我一定盡力而為。”假如你不讓他來得這麼勤,也許會好些;至少你不必提醒你母親邀他來。”
伊莉莎白羞怯地笑笑說:”就象我那天做法一樣,的確,最好是不要那樣。可是你也不要以為他是一直來得這麼勤。這個星期倒是為了你才常常請他來的。你知道媽的主意,她總以為想出最聰明的辦法去應付的;我希望這一下你總該滿意了吧。”
舅母告訴她說,這一下滿意了;伊莉莎白謝謝她好心的指示,於是二人就分別了──在這種問題上給人家出主意而沒受抱怨,這次倒可算一個稀罕的例子。嘉丁納夫婦和吉英剛剛離開了哈德福郡,柯林斯先生就回到哈福德郡去。他住在盧卡斯府上,因此班納特太太不但終於死了心,認為這門親事是免不了的,甚至還幾次三番惡意地說:”但願他們會幸福吧。”星期四就是佳期,盧卡斯小姐星期三到班府上來辭行。當夏綠蒂起身告別的時候,伊莉莎白一方面由於母親那些死樣怪氣的吉利話,使她聽得不好意思,另一方面自己也委實有動無衷,便不由得送她走出房門。下樓梯的時候,夏綠蒂說:我相信你一定會常常給我寫信的,伊麗莎。”這你放心好啦。”我還要你賞個臉。你願意來看看我嗎?”我希望我們能夠常常在哈福德郡見面。”我可能暫時不會離開肯特郡。還是答應我上漢斯福來吧。”
伊莉莎白雖然預料到這種拜望不會有什麼樂趣,可又沒法推辭。
夏綠蒂又說:”我的父母三月裏要到我那兒去,我希望你跟他們一塊兒來。真的,伊麗莎,我一定象歡迎他們一樣地歡迎你。”
結好了婚,新郎新娘從教堂門口直接動身往肯特郡去,大家總是照例你一句我一句的要說上多少話。伊莉莎白不久就收到了她朋友的來信,從此她們倆的通信便極其正常,極其頻繁!不過,要象從前一樣地暢所欲言,毫無顧忌,那可辦不到了。伊莉莎白每逢寫信給她,都免不了感覺到過去那種推心置腹的快慰已經成為陳跡;雖說她也下定決心,不要把通信疏懶下來,不過,那與其說是為了目前的友誼,倒不如說是為了過去的交情。她對於夏綠蒂開頭的幾封信都盼望得很迫切,那完全是出於一種好奇心,想要知道夏綠蒂所說的話,處處都和她自己所預料的完全一樣。她的信寫得充滿了愉快的情調,講到一件事總要讚美一句,好象她真有說不盡的快慰。凡是住宅、傢俱、鄰居、道路,樣樣都叫她稱心,咖苔琳夫人待人接物又是那麼友善,那麼親切。她只不過把柯林斯先生所誇耀的漢斯福和羅新斯的面貌,稍許說得委婉一些罷了;伊莉莎白覺得,一定要等到親自去那兒拜訪,才能瞭解底蘊。
吉英早已來了一封短簡給伊莉莎白,信上說,她已經平安抵達倫敦;伊莉莎白希望她下次來信能夠講一些有關彬格萊家的事。
第二封信真等得她焦急,可是總算沒有白等。信上說,她已經進城一個星期,既沒有看見珈羅琳,也沒有收到珈羅琳的信。她只得認為她上次從浪搏恩給珈羅琳的那封信,一定是在路上失落了。
她接下去寫:”明天舅母要上那個地區去,我想趁這個機會到格魯斯汶納街去登門拜訪一下。”
吉英拜訪過彬格萊小姐並且和她見過面以後,又寫了一封信來。她寫道:”我覺得珈羅琳精神不大好,可是她見到我卻很高興,而且怪我這次到倫敦來為什麼事先不通知她一下。我果然沒有猜錯,我上次給她那封信,她真的沒有收到。我當然問起她們的兄弟。據說他近況很好,不過同達西先生過從太密,以致姐妹兄弟很少機會見面。我這一次拜望的時間並不太久,因為珈羅琳和赫斯脫太太都要出去。也許她們馬上就會上我這兒來看我。”
伊莉莎白讀著這封信,不由得搖頭。她相信除非有什麼偶然的機會,彬格萊先生決不會知道吉英來到了倫敦。
四個星期過去了,吉英還沒有見到彬格萊先生的影子。她竭力寬慰自己說,她並沒有因此而覺得難受;可是彬格萊小姐的冷淡無情,她到底看明白了。她每天上午都在家裏等彬格萊小姐,一直白等了兩個星期,每天晚上都替彬格萊小姐編造一個藉口,最後那位貴客才算上門來了,可是只待了片刻工夫便告辭而去,而且她的態度也前後判若兩人,吉英覺得再不能自己騙自己了。她把這一次的情形寫了封信告訴她妹妹,從這封信裏可以看出她當時的心情:──
我最最親愛的麗萃妹妹:現在我不得不承認,彬格萊小姐對我的關注完全是騙我的。我相信你的見解比我高明,而且你看到我傷心,還會引為得意。親愛的妹妹,雖然如今事實已經證明你的看法是對的,可是,我如果從她過去的態度來看,我依舊認為,我對她的信任以及你對她的懷疑,同樣都是合情合理,請你不要以為我固執。我到現在還不明白她從前為什麼要跟我要好;如果再有同樣的情況發生,我相信我還會受到欺騙。珈羅琳一直到昨天才來看我,她未來以前不曾給我片紙隻字的訊息,既來之後又顯出十分不樂意的樣子。她只是照例敷衍了我一句,說是沒有早日來看我,很是抱歉,此外根本就沒有提起她想要再見見我的話。她在種種方面都前後判若兩人,因此,當她臨走的時候,我就下定決心和她斷絕來往,雖說我禁不住要怪她,可是我又可憐她。只怪她當初不該對我另眼看待;我可以問心無愧地說,我和她交情都是由她主動一步一步進展起來的。可是我可憐她,因為她一定會感覺到自己做錯了,我斷定她所以採取這種態度,完全是由於為她哥哥擔心的緣故。我用不著為自己再解釋下去了。雖然我們知道這種擔心完全不必要,不過,倘若她當真這樣擔心,那就足以說明她為什麼要這樣對待我了。既然他確實值得他妹妹珍惜,那麼,不管她替他擔的是什麼憂,那也是合情合理,親切可喜。不過,我簡直不懂她現在還要有什麼顧慮,要是他當真有心於我,我們早就會見面了。聽她口氣,我肯定他是知道我在倫敦的;然而從她談話的態度看來,就好象她拿穩他是真的傾心于達西小姐似的。這真使我弄不明白。要是我大膽地下一句刻薄的斷語,我真忍不住要說,其中一定大有蹊蹺。可是我一定會竭力打消一切苦痛的念頭,只去想一些能使我高興的事――譬如想想你的親切以及親愛的舅父母對我始終如一的關切。希望很快就收到你的信。彬格萊小姐說起他再也不會回到尼日斐花園來,說他打算放棄那幢房子,可是說得並不怎麼肯定。我們最好不必再提起這件事。你從漢斯福我們那些朋友那兒聽到了許多令人愉快的事,這使我很高興。請你跟威廉爵士和瑪麗亞一塊兒去看看他們吧。我相信你在那裏一定會過得很舒適的。──你的???
這封信使伊莉莎白感到有些難受;不過,一想到吉英從此不會再受到他們的欺蒙,至少不會再受到那個妹妹的欺蒙,她又高興起來了。她現在已經放棄了對那位兄弟的一切期望。她甚至根本不希望他再來重修舊好。她越想越看不起他;她倒真的希望他早日跟達西先生的妹妹結婚,因為照韋翰說來,那位小姐往後一定會叫他後悔,悔當初不該把本來的意中人丟了,這一方面算是給他一種懲罰,另方面也可能有利於吉英。
大約就在這時候,嘉丁納太太把上次伊莉莎白答應過怎樣對待韋翰的事,又向伊莉莎白提醒了一下,並且問起最近的情況如何;伊莉莎白回信上所說的話,雖然自己頗不滿意,可是舅母聽了卻很滿意。原來他對她顯著的好感已經消失,他對她的殷勤也已經過去──他愛上了別人了。伊莉莎白很留心地看出了這一切,可是她雖然看出了這一切,在信上也寫到這一切,卻並沒有感到什麼痛苦,她只不過稍許有些感觸。她想,如果她有些財產,早就成為他唯一的意中人了──想到這裏,她的虛榮心也就得到了滿足。拿他現在所傾倒的那位姑娘來說,她的最顯著的魅力就是使他可以獲得一萬金鎊的意外鉅款;可是伊莉莎白對自己這件事,也許不如上次對夏綠蒂的事那麼看得清楚,因此並沒有因為他追求物質享受而怨怪他。她反而以為這是再自然不過的事;她也想像到他遺棄她一定頗費躊躇,可又覺得這對於雙方都是一種既聰明而又理想的辦法,並且誠心誠意地祝他幸福。她把這一切都對嘉丁納太太說了。敍述了這些事以後,她接下去這樣寫道:”親愛的舅母,我現在深深相信,我根本沒有怎樣愛他,假如我當真有了這種純潔而崇高的感情,那我現在一聽到他的名字都會覺得討厭,而且巴不得他倒盡了黴。可是我情緒上不僅對他沒有一些芥蒂,甚至對金小姐也毫無成見。我根本不覺得恨她,並且極其願意把她看作一個很好的姑娘。這樁事完全算不上戀愛。我的小心提防並不是枉然的;要是我狂戀著他,親友們就一定會把我看作一個更有趣的話柄了,我決不因為人家不十分器重我而竟會感到遺憾。太受人器重有時候需要付出很大的代價。吉蒂和麗迪雅對他的缺點計較得比我厲害。她們在人情世故方面還幼稚得很,還不懂得這樣一個有失體統的信條:美少年和凡夫俗子一樣,也得不飯吃,有衣穿。”
Chapter 26
MRS. Gardiner’s caution to Elizabeth was punctually and kindly given on the first favourable opportunity of speaking to her alone; after honestly telling her what she thought, she thus went on:
“You are too sensible a girl, Lizzy, to fall in love merely because you are warned against it; and, therefore, I am not afraid of speaking openly. Seriously, I would have you be on your guard. Do not involve yourself, or endeavour to involve him in an affection which the want of fortune would make so very imprudent. I have nothing to say against him; he is a most interesting young man; and if he had the fortune he ought to have, I should think you could not do better. But as it is — you must not let your fancy run away with you. You have sense, and we all expect you to use it. Your father would depend on your resolution and good conduct, I am sure. You must not disappoint your father.”
“My dear aunt, this is being serious indeed.”
“Yes, and I hope to engage you to be serious likewise.”
“Well, then, you need not be under any alarm. I will take care of myself, and of Mr. Wickham too. He shall not be in love with me, if I can prevent it.”
“Elizabeth, you are not serious now.”
“I beg your pardon. I will try again. At present I am not in love with Mr. Wickham; no, I certainly am not. But he is, beyond all comparison, the most agreeable man I ever saw — and if he becomes really attached to me — I believe it will be better that he should not. I see the imprudence of it. — Oh! that abominable Mr. Darcy! — My father’s opinion of me does me the greatest honor; and I should be miserable to forfeit it. My father, however, is partial to Mr. Wickham. In short, my dear aunt, I should be very sorry to be the means of making any of you unhappy; but since we see every day that where there is affection, young people are seldom withheld by immediate want of fortune from entering into engagements with each other, how can I promise to be wiser than so many of my fellow creatures if I am tempted, or how am I even to know that it would be wisdom to resist? All that I can promise you, therefore, is not to be in a hurry. I will not be in a hurry to believe myself his first object. When I am in company with him, I will not be wishing. In short, I will do my best.”
“Perhaps it will be as well, if you discourage his coming here so very often. At least, you should not remind your mother of inviting him.”
“As I did the other day,” said Elizabeth, with a conscious smile; “very true, it will be wise in me to refrain from that. But do not imagine that he is always here so often. It is on your account that he has been so frequently invited this week. You know my mother’s ideas as to the necessity of constant company for her friends. But really, and upon my honour, I will try to do what I think to be wisest; and now, I hope you are satisfied.”
Her aunt assured her that she was; and Elizabeth having thanked her for the kindness of her hints, they parted; a wonderful instance of advice being given on such a point without being resented.
Mr. Collins returned into Hertfordshire soon after it had been quitted by the Gardiners and Jane; but as he took up his abode with the Lucases, his arrival was no great inconvenience to Mrs. Bennet. His marriage was now fast approaching, and she was at length so far resigned as to think it inevitable, and even repeatedly to say in an ill-natured tone that she “wished they might be happy.” Thursday was to be the wedding day, and on Wednesday Miss Lucas paid her farewell visit; and when she rose to take leave, Elizabeth, ashamed of her mother’s ungracious and reluctant good wishes, and sincerely affected herself, accompanied her out of the room. As they went down stairs together, Charlotte said,
“I shall depend on hearing from you very often, Eliza.”
“That you certainly shall.”
“And I have another favour to ask. Will you come and see me?”
“We shall often meet, I hope, in Hertfordshire.”
“I am not likely to leave Kent for some time. Promise me, therefore, to come to Hunsford.”
Elizabeth could not refuse, though she foresaw little pleasure in the visit.
“My father and Maria are to come to me in March,” added Charlotte, “and I hope you will consent to be of the party. Indeed, Eliza, you will be as welcome to me as either of them.”
The wedding took place; the bride and bridegroom set off for Kent from the church door, and every body had as much to say or to hear on the subject as usual. Elizabeth soon heard from her friend; and their correspondence was as regular and frequent as it had ever been; that it should be equally unreserved was impossible. Elizabeth could never address her without feeling that all the comfort of intimacy was over, and, though determined not to slacken as a correspondent, it was for the sake of what had been, rather than what was. Charlotte’s first letters were received with a good deal of eagerness; there could not but be curiosity to know how she would speak of her new home, how she would like Lady Catherine, and how happy she would dare pronounce herself to be; though, when the letters were read, Elizabeth felt that Charlotte expressed herself on every point exactly as she might have foreseen. She wrote cheerfully, seemed surrounded with comforts, and mentioned nothing which she could not praise. The house, furniture, neighbourhood, and roads, were all to her taste, and Lady Catherine’s behaviour was most friendly and obliging. It was Mr. Collins’s picture of Hunsford and Rosings rationally softened; and Elizabeth perceived that she must wait for her own visit there, to know the rest.
Jane had already written a few lines to her sister to announce their safe arrival in London; and when she wrote again, Elizabeth hoped it would be in her power to say something of the Bingleys.
Her impatience for this second letter was as well rewarded as impatience generally is. Jane had been a week in town, without either seeing or hearing from Caroline. She accounted for it, however, by supposing that her last letter to her friend from Longbourn had by some accident been lost.
“My aunt,” she continued, “is going to-morrow into that part of the town, and I shall take the opportunity of calling in Grosvenor-street.”
She wrote again when the visit was paid, and she had seen Miss Bingley. “I did not think Caroline in spirits,” were her words, “but she was very glad to see me, and reproached me for giving her no notice of my coming to London. I was right, therefore; my last letter had never reached her. I enquired after their brother, of course. He was well, but so much engaged with Mr. Darcy, that they scarcely ever saw him. I found that Miss Darcy was expected to dinner. I wish I could see her. My visit was not long, as Caroline and Mrs. Hurst were going out. I dare say I shall soon see them here.”
Elizabeth shook her head over this letter. It convinced her that accident only could discover to Mr. Bingley her sister’s being in town.
Four weeks passed away, and Jane saw nothing of him. She endeavoured to persuade herself that she did not regret it; but she could no longer be blind to Miss Bingley’s inattention. After waiting at home every morning for a fortnight, and inventing every evening a fresh excuse for her, the visitor did at last appear; but the shortness of her stay, and yet more, the alteration of her manner, would allow Jane to deceive herself no longer. The letter which she wrote on this occasion to her sister, will prove what she felt.
“My dearest Lizzy will, I am sure, be incapable of triumphing in her better judgment, at my expence, when I confess myself to have been entirely deceived in Miss Bingley’s regard for me. But, my dear sister, though the event has proved you right, do not think me obstinate if I still assert that, considering what her behaviour was, my confidence was as natural as your suspicion. I do not at all comprehend her reason for wishing to be intimate with me, but if the same circumstances were to happen again, I am sure I should be deceived again. Caroline did not return my visit till yesterday; and not a note, not a line, did I receive in the mean time. When she did come, it was very evident that she had no pleasure in it; she made a slight, formal, apology for not calling before, said not a word of wishing to see me again, and was in every respect so altered a creature, that when she went away I was perfectly resolved to continue the acquaintance no longer. I pity, though I cannot help blaming her. She was very wrong in singling me out as she did; I can safely say, that every advance to intimacy began on her side. But I pity her, because she must feel that she has been acting wrong, and because I am very sure that anxiety for her brother is the cause of it, I need not explain myself farther; and though we know this anxiety to be quite needless, yet if she feels it, it will easily account for her behaviour to me; and so deservedly dear as he is to his sister, whatever anxiety she may feel on his behalf is natural and amiable. I cannot but wonder, however, at her having any such fears now, because, if he had at all cared about me, we must have met long, long ago. He knows of my being in town, I am certain, from something she said herself; and yet it should seem by her manner of talking, as if she wanted to persuade herself that he is really partial to Miss Darcy. I cannot understand it. If I were not afraid of judging harshly, I should be almost tempted to say that there is a strong appearance of duplicity in all this. But I will endeavour to banish every painful thought, and think only of what will make me happy: your affection, and the invariable kindness of my dear uncle and aunt. Let me hear from you very soon. Miss Bingley said something of his never returning to Netherfield again, of giving up the house, but not with any certainty. We had better not mention it. I am extremely glad that you have such pleasant accounts from our friends at Hunsford. Pray go to see them, with Sir William and Maria. I am sure you will be very comfortable there.
Your’s, &c.”
This letter gave Elizabeth some pain; but her spirits returned as she considered that Jane would no longer be duped, by the sister at least. All expectation from the brother was now absolutely over. She would not even wish for any renewal of his attentions. His character sunk on every review of it; and as a punishment for him, as well as a possible advantage to Jane, she seriously hoped he might really soon marry Mr. Darcy’s sister, as, by Wickham’s account, she would make him abundantly regret what he had thrown away.
Mrs. Gardiner about this time reminded Elizabeth of her promise concerning that gentleman, and required information; and Elizabeth had such to send as might rather give contentment to her aunt than to herself. His apparent partiality had subsided, his attentions were over, he was the admirer of some one else. Elizabeth was watchful enough to see it all, but she could see it and write of it without material pain. Her heart had been but slightly touched, and her vanity was satisfied with believing that she would have been his only choice, had fortune permitted it. The sudden acquisition of ten thousand pounds was the most remarkable charm of the young lady to whom he was now rendering himself agreeable; but Elizabeth, less clear-sighted perhaps in his case than in Charlotte’s, did not quarrel with him for his wish of independence. Nothing, on the contrary, could be more natural; and while able to suppose that it cost him a few struggles to relinquish her, she was ready to allow it a wise and desirable measure for both, and could very sincerely wish him happy.
All this was acknowledged to Mrs. Gardiner; and after relating the circumstances, she thus went on: — “I am now convinced, my dear aunt, that I have never been much in love; for had I really experienced that pure and elevating passion, I should at present detest his very name, and wish him all manner of evil. But my feelings are not only cordial towards him; they are even impartial towards Miss King. I cannot find out that I hate her at all, or that I am in the least unwilling to think her a very good sort of girl. There can be no love in all this. My watchfulness has been effectual; and though I should certainly be a more interesting object to all my acquaintance, were I distractedly in love with him, I cannot say that I regret my comparative insignificance. Importance may sometimes be purchased too dearly. Kitty and Lydia take his defection much more to heart than I do. They are young in the ways of the world, and not yet open to the mortifying conviction that handsome young men must have something to live on, as well as the plain.”
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