【大紀元2016年06月17日訊】(大紀元記者陳俊村編譯報導)夫妻是最親密的夥伴,雙方應該是無話不談的,而且偶爾開開對方無傷大雅的玩笑,或許還能增進兩者之間的感情。而這些原本為夫妻共享的幽默詞句如果透過社交媒體與更多人分享的話,說不定也能幫助其他夫妻改善關係。
「無聊熊貓」(Bored Panda)網站最近便選錄了一些為人丈夫者在推特發表的幽默推文,以下摘譯幾則:
1.推特用戶「Abe Yospe」寫道:「當我太太在公共場所睡著時,我就會搖搖她,然後大叫:『別死在我懷裡啊!』當她醒來時,人們總是會鼓掌。」
When my wife falls asleep in a public place, I shake her a little and yell, “DON’T YOU DIE ON ME!” People always clap when she wakes up.
— Abe Yospe (@Cheeseboy22)
2.「Grant Tanaka」的一則推文說:
妻子:世界上的男人好像共用一個大腦。
我:(想不到好的話來反擊,因為現在還輪不到我用那個大腦)。
Wife: It’s like every man on earth has to share one brain
Me: [can’t think of a good comeback because it’s not my turn to use the brain]— Grant Tanaka (@GrantTanaka)
3.「Exploding Unicorn」發文說,有一次他與妻子外出,聽到小孩在哭。他說:「有個小孩在哭。」妻子回答說:「不是我們家的小孩。」隨後,兩人頂拳(拳頭碰拳頭,原為打招呼的方式之一,在這裡似乎有高興、如釋重負之意)。
[out in public]
Me: A kid is crying.
Wife: It’s not one of ours.
[we fist bump]
— Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn)
4.「Boyd’s Backyard™」寫道,當他提早下班回家給妻子驚喜時,他喜歡她用幾個非常特殊的字詞跟他打招呼:「你被炒魷魚了嗎?」
I love when I leave work early to surprise my wife at home and she greets me with those three very special words… Were you fired??
— Boyd’s Backyard™ (@TheBoydP)
5.「Kent Graham」似乎很無奈地說:「我不了解上帝如何以十誡規範全世界,而我太太光是給我們家的戒律就有152條。」
I don’t understand how God can have Ten Commandments for the whole world, and my wife can have 152 just for our house.
— Kent Graham (@KentWGraham)
6.「Kent Graham」另發一文說:「當我從車禍中醒來、全身纏著繃帶躺在病床上時,我太太在床邊告訴我說,分娩比這更痛苦。」
When I awoke from the car accident in a full bodycast, my wife was right at my bedside to let me know that childbirth is still more painful.
— Kent Graham (@KentWGraham)
7.「keet」發文提及他與妻子之間在金錢方面的認知差距:
會計師:你們基本上已經破產了。
妻子:他一直花錢買愚蠢的東西。
我:我們來問問小狗,是否牠認為牠的牛仔褲很愚蠢。
accountant: “youre basically broke”
wife: “he keeps spending money on stupid stuff”
me: “lets ask the dog if he thinks his jeans are stupid”— k e e t (@KeetPotato)
責任編輯:蘇漾