第 60 章
伊莉莎白马上又高兴得顽皮起来了，她要达西先生讲一讲爱上她的经过。她问：”你是怎样走第一步的？我知道你只要走了第一步，就会一路顺风往前走去；可是，你最初怎么会转这个念头的？”
”我也说不准究竟是在什么时间，什么地点，看见了你什么样的风姿，听到了你什么样的谈吐，便使我开始爱上了你。那是好久以前的事。等我发觉我自己开始爱上你的时候，我已经走了一半路了。”
”我的美貌并没有打动你的心；讲到我的态度方面，我对你至少不是怎么有礼貌，我没有哪一次同你说话不是想要叫你难过一下。请你老老实实说一声，你是不是爱我的唐突无礼？”
”我爱你的脑子灵活。”
”你还不如说是唐突，十足唐突。事实上是因为，你对于殷勤多礼的客套，已经感到腻烦。天下有种女人，她们无论是说话、思想、表情，都只是为了博得你称赞一声，你对这种女人已经觉得讨厌。我所以会引起你的注目，打动了你的心，就因为我不像她们。如果你不是一个真正可爱的人，你一定会恨我这种地方；可是，尽管你想尽办法来遮掩你自己，你的情感毕竟是高贵的、正确的、你心目中根本看不起那些拚命向你献媚的人。我这样一说，你就可以不必费神去解释了；我通盘考虑了一下，觉得你的爱完全合情合理。老实说，你完全没有想到我有什么实在的长处；不过，随便什么人，在恋爱的时候，也都不会想到这种事情。”
”当初吉英在尼日斐花园病了，你对她那样温柔体贴，不正是你的长处吗？”
”吉英真是太好了！谁能不好好地待她？你姑且就把这件事当做我的德性吧。我一切优美的品质都全靠你夸奖，你爱怎么说就怎么说吧；我可只知道找机会来嘲笑你，跟你争论；我马上就开始这样做，听我问你：你为什么总是不愿意直捷爽快地谈到正题？你第一次上这儿来拜访，第二次在这儿吃饭，为什么见到我就害臊？尤其是你来拜访的那一次，你为什么显出那副神气，好象完全不把我摆在心上似的？”
”因为你那样板起了脸，一言不发，使得我不敢和你攀谈。”
”可是我觉得难为情呀。”
”我也一样。”
”那么，你来吃饭的那一次，也可以跟我多谈谈喽。”
”要是爱你爱得少些，话就可以说得多些了。”
”真不凑巧，你的回答总是这样有道理，我又偏偏这样懂道理，会承认你这个回答！我想，要是我不来理你，你不知要拖到什么时候；要是我不问你一声，不知你什么时候才肯说出来。这都是因为我拿定了主意，要感谢你对丽迪雅的好处，这才促成了这件事。我怕促成得太厉害了；如果说，我们是因为打破了当初的诺言，才获得了目前的快慰，那在道义上怎么说得过去？我实在不应该提起那件事的。实在是大错特错。”
”你不用难过。道义上完全讲得过去。咖苔琳夫人蛮不讲理。想要拆散我们，这反而使我消除了种种疑虑。我并不以为目前的幸福，都是出于你对我的一片感恩图报之心。我本来就不打算等你先开口。我一听到我姨母的话，便产生了希望，于是决定要立刻把事情弄个清楚明白。”
”咖苔琳夫人倒帮了极大的忙，她自己也应该高兴，因为她喜欢帮人家的忙。可是请你告诉我，你这次上尼日斐花园来是干什么的？难道就是为了骑着马到浪搏恩来难为情一番吗？你不没有预备要做出些正经大事来呢？”
”我上这儿来的真正目的，就是为了看看你。如果可能的话，我还要想法子研究研究，是否有希望使你爱上我。至于在别人面前，在我自己心里，我总是说，是为了看看你姐姐对彬格莱是否依然有情，我就决计把这事的原委向他说明。”
”你有没有勇气把咖苔琳夫人的自讨没趣，向她自己宣布一遍？”
”我并不是没有勇气，而是没有时间，伊莉莎白。可是这件事是应该要做的；如果你给我一张纸，我马上就来做。”
”要不是我自己有封信要写，我一定会象另外一位年轻的小姐一样，坐在你身旁欣赏你那工整的书法。可惜我也有一位舅母，再不能不回信给她了。”
且说前些时候，舅母过高地估计了伊莉莎白和达西先生的交情，伊莉莎白又不愿意把事情向舅母说明白，因此嘉丁纳太太写来的那封长信一直还没有回答，现在有了这个可喜的消息告诉她，她一定会喜欢，可是伊莉莎白倒觉得，让舅父母迟了三天才知道这个消息，真有些不好意思。她马上写道；──
亲爱的舅母，蒙你写给我那封亲切而令人满意的长信，告诉了我种种详情细节，本当早日回信道谢，无奈我当时实在情绪不佳，因而不愿意动笔。你当时所想像的情况，实在有些过甚其辞。可是现在，你大可爱怎么想就怎么想了。关于这件事，你可以放纵你的幻想，想到哪里就是哪里，只要你不以为我已经结了婚，你总不会猜想得太过分。你得马上再写封信来把他赞美一番，而且要赞美得大大超过你上一封信。我要多谢你没有带我到湖区去旅行。我真傻，为什么到湖区去呢？你说要弄几匹小马去游园，这个打算可真有意思。今后我们便可以每天在那个园里兜圈子了。我现在成了天下最幸福的人。也许别人以前也说过这句话，可是谁也不能象我这样名副其实。我甚至比吉英还要幸福；她只是莞尔微笑，我却纵声大笑。达西先生分一部分爱我之心问候你。欢迎你们到彭伯里来耶诞节。──你的甥女。（下略）
达西先生写给咖苔琳夫人的信，格调和这封信不一样，而班纳特先生写给柯林斯先生的轵，和这两封信又是全不相同。
贤侄先生左右：我得麻烦你再恭贺我一次。伊莉莎白马上就要做达西夫人了。请多多劝慰咖苔琳夫人。要是我处在你的地位，我一定要站在姨侄一边，因为他可以给人更大的利益。
愚某手上
彬格莱小姐祝贺哥快要结婚的那封信，写得无限亲切，只可惜缺乏诚意。她甚至还写信给吉英道贺，又把从前那一套假仁假义的话重提了一遍。吉英虽然再也不受她蒙蔽，可仍然为她感动；虽说对她不再信任，可还是回了她一封信，措辞极其亲切，实在使她受之有愧。
达西小姐来信上说，她接到喜讯时，正和她哥哥发出喜讯时一样欢欣。那封信写了四张信纸，还不足以表达她内心的喜悦，不足以表明她是怎样恳切地盼望着嫂嫂会疼爱她。
柯林斯先生的回信还没有来，伊莉莎白也还没有获得柯林斯太太的祝贺，这时候浪搏恩全家却听说他们夫妇俩马上要到卢家庄来。他们突然动身前来的原因，是很容易明白的。原来咖苔琳夫人接到她姨侄那封信，大发雷霆，而夏绿蒂对这门婚事偏偏非常欣喜，因此不得不火速避开一下，等到这场暴风雨过去了以后再说。对伊莉莎白说来，在这样的佳期，自己的好朋友来了，真是一件无上愉快的事，只可惜等到见了面，看到柯林斯先生对达西那种极尽巴结阿谀的样子，便不免认为这种愉快有些得不偿失。不过达西却非常镇定地容忍着。还有威廉卢卡斯爵士，他恭维达西获得了当地最宝贵的明珠，而且还恭而敬之地说，希望今后能常在宫中见面。达西先生甚至连这些话也听得进去，直到威廉爵士走开以后，他方才耸了耸肩。
还有腓力普太太，她为人很粗俗，也许会叫达西更加受不了。腓力普太太正象她姐姐一样，见到彬格莱先生那么和颜悦色，于是攀谈起来很是随便，而对达西则敬畏备至，不敢随便，可是她的出言吐语总还是免不了粗俗。虽说她因为尊敬达西而很少跟达西说话，可是她并不因此而显得举止文雅一些。伊莉莎白为了不让达西受到这些人的纠缠，便竭力使他跟她自己谈话，跟她家里那些不会使他受罪的人谈话。虽然这一番应酬大大减少了恋爱的乐趣，可是却促进了她对未来生活的期望，她一心盼望赶快离开这些讨厌的人物，到彭伯里去，和他一家人在一起，舒舒服服过一辈子风雅有趣的生活。
Chapter 60
ELIZABETH’S spirits soon rising to playfulness again, she wanted Mr. Darcy to account for his having ever fallen in love with her. “How could you begin?” said she. “I can comprehend your going on charmingly, when you had once made a beginning; but what could set you off in the first place?”
“I cannot fix on the hour, or the spot, or the look, or the words, which laid the foundation. It is too long ago. I was in the middle before I knew that I had begun.”
“My beauty you had early withstood, and as for my manners — my behaviour to you was at least always bordering on the uncivil, and I never spoke to you without rather wishing to give you pain than not. Now be sincere; did you admire me for my impertinence?”
“For the liveliness of your mind, I did.”
“You may as well call it impertinence at once. It was very little less. The fact is, that you were sick of civility, of deference, of officious attention. You were disgusted with the women who were always speaking, and looking, and thinking for your approbation alone. I roused, and interested you, because I was so unlike them. Had you not been really amiable, you would have hated me for it; but in spite of the pains you took to disguise yourself, your feelings were always noble and just; and in your heart, you thoroughly despised the persons who so assiduously courted you. There — I have saved you the trouble of accounting for it; and really, all things considered, I begin to think it perfectly reasonable. To be sure, you knew no actual good of me — but nobody thinks of that when they fall in love.”
“Was there no good in your affectionate behaviour to Jane while she was ill at Netherfield?”
“Dearest Jane! who could have done less for her? But make a virtue of it by all means. My good qualities are under your protection, and you are to exaggerate them as much as possible; and, in return, it belongs to me to find occasions for teazing and quarrelling with you as often as may be; and I shall begin directly by asking you what made you so unwilling to come to the point at last. What made you so shy of me, when you first called, and afterwards dined here? Why, especially, when you called, did you look as if you did not care about me?”
“Because you were grave and silent, and gave me no encouragement.”
“But I was embarrassed.”
“And so was I.”
“You might have talked to me more when you came to dinner.”
“A man who had felt less, might.”
“How unlucky that you should have a reasonable answer to give, and that I should be so reasonable as to admit it! But I wonder how long you would have gone on, if you had been left to yourself. I wonder when you would have spoken, if I had not asked you! My resolution of thanking you for your kindness to Lydia had certainly great effect. Too much, I am afraid; for what becomes of the moral, if our comfort springs from a breach of promise? for I ought not to have mentioned the subject. This will never do.”
“You need not distress yourself. The moral will be perfectly fair. Lady Catherine’s unjustifiable endeavours to separate us were the means of removing all my doubts. I am not indebted for my present happiness to your eager desire of expressing your gratitude. I was not in a humour to wait for any opening of your’s. My aunt’s intelligence had given me hope, and I was determined at once to know every thing.”
“Lady Catherine has been of infinite use, which ought to make her happy, for she loves to be of use. But tell me, what did you come down to Netherfield for? Was it merely to ride to Longbourn and be embarrassed? or had you intended any more serious consequence?”
“My real purpose was to see you, and to judge, if I could, whether I might ever hope to make you love me. My avowed one, or what I avowed to myself, was to see whether your sister were still partial to Bingley, and if she were, to make the confession to him which I have since made.”
“Shall you ever have courage to announce to Lady Catherine what is to befall her?”
“I am more likely to want more time than courage, Elizabeth. But it ought to done, and if you will give me a sheet of paper, it shall be done directly.”
“And if I had not a letter to write myself, I might sit by you and admire the evenness of your writing, as another young lady once did. But I have an aunt, too, who must not be longer neglected.”
From an unwillingness to confess how much her intimacy with Mr. Darcy had been over-rated, Elizabeth had never yet answered Mrs. Gardiner’s long letter; but now, having that to communicate which she knew would be most welcome, she was almost ashamed to find that her uncle and aunt had already lost three days of happiness, and immediately wrote as follows:
“I would have thanked you before, my dear aunt, as I ought to have done, for your long, kind, satisfactory, detail of particulars; but to say the truth, I was too cross to write. You supposed more than really existed. But now suppose as much as you chuse; give a loose to your fancy, indulge your imagination in every possible flight which the subject will afford, and unless you believe me actually married, you cannot greatly err. You must write again very soon, and praise him a great deal more than you did in your last. I thank you, again and again, for not going to the Lakes. How could I be so silly as to wish it! Your idea of the ponies is delightful. We will go round the Park every day. I am the happiest creature in the world. Perhaps other people have said so before, but not one with such justice. I am happier even than Jane; she only smiles, I laugh. Mr. Darcy sends you all the love in the world that he can spare from me. You are all to come to Pemberley at Christmas. Your’s, &c.”
Mr. Darcy’s letter to Lady Catherine was in a different style; and still different from either was what Mr. Bennet sent to Mr. Collins, in reply to his last.
“DEAR SIR,
I must trouble you once more for congratulations. Elizabeth will soon be the wife of Mr. Darcy. Console Lady Catherine as well as you can. But, if I were you, I would stand by the nephew. He has more to give.
Your’s sincerely, &c.”
Miss Bingley’s congratulations to her brother, on his approaching marriage, were all that was affectionate and insincere. She wrote even to Jane on the occasion, to express her delight, and repeat all her former professions of regard. Jane was not deceived, but she was affected; and though feeling no reliance on her, could not help writing her a much kinder answer than she knew was deserved.
The joy which Miss Darcy expressed on receiving similar information, was as sincere as her brother’s in sending it. Four sides of paper were insufficient to contain all her delight, and all her earnest desire of being loved by her sister.
Before any answer could arrive from Mr. Collins, or any congratulations to Elizabeth from his wife, the Longbourn family heard that the Collinses were come themselves to Lucas lodge. The reason of this sudden removal was soon evident. Lady Catherine had been rendered so exceedingly angry by the contents of her nephew’s letter, that Charlotte, really rejoicing in the match, was anxious to get away till the storm was blown over. At such a moment, the arrival of her friend was a sincere pleasure to Elizabeth, though in the course of their meetings she must sometimes think the pleasure dearly bought, when she saw Mr. Darcy exposed to all the parading and obsequious civility of her husband. He bore it, however, with admirable calmness. He could even listen to Sir William Lucas, when he complimented him on carrying away the brightest jewel of the country, and expressed his hopes of their all meeting frequently at St. James’s, with very decent composure. If he did shrug his shoulders, it was not till Sir William was out of sight.
Mrs. Philips’s vulgarity was another, and perhaps a greater, tax on his forbearance; and though Mrs. Philips, as well as her sister, stood in too much awe of him to speak with the familiarity which Bingley’s good humour encouraged, yet, whenever she did speak, she must be vulgar. Nor was her respect for him, though it made her more quiet, at all likely to make her more elegant. Elizabeth did all she could to shield him from the frequent notice of either, and was ever anxious to keep him to herself, and to those of her family with whom he might converse without mortification; and though the uncomfortable feelings arising from all this took from the season of courtship much of its pleasure, it added to the hope of the future; and she looked forward with delight to the time when they should be removed from society so little pleasing to either, to all the comfort and elegance of their family party at Pemberley.
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