父親在二十多年的迫害中變的非常暴躁。他幾乎不和我們姐妹交談,對我們從沒有肯定、贊揚,只有訓斥。我每時每刻都得小心被他打罵,整個成長歲月感覺象在地獄裡煎熬。
有一次放學後我躺在家裡的椅子上歇息,父親一回來就給了我一巴掌,“看你躺的鬼樣!”
有一次我出於好心將家裡的相機借給朋友用一下。父親知道後狠狠的用巴掌抽我的背,對我大吼:「馬上給我拿回來!」嚇的我當場小便失禁流了滿褲子,那時我已十四歲了。
有一次我上洗手間時一個硬幣從褲袋裏滾進了廁所。父親發現後狠狠的訓斥我,嚇的我馬上跑進廁所、將手伸進還沾著大便的糞坑裡掏……
我常在夜裡偷偷溜到家附近的小樹林裡大哭,望著天空問:「為什麼我會有這樣的父親?!」
每次姐姐都跑到小樹林來找我,抱著我默默流淚。我們都想過自殺。但每次我們其中一個軟弱時,另一個就鼓勵對方:我們要堅強的活下去。
(待續)
(英文對照)
Over two decades of persecution had turned my father into a very irritable person. He hardly talked with us sisters; he never praised us, but only scolded us. I had to be alert and cautious at all times so as to avoid his scolding and slapping. I felt like suffering in hell throughout my entire growing years.
One time, while I was lying down on the bench for a break upon getting home from school, my father slapped me on the face the instant he came home. “Look at the awful way you are lying down!”
One time, I lent my father’s camera to a friend out of the goodness of my heart. My father fiercely slapped my back and scolded me upon knowing it, “Get the camera back for me right away!” I was so frightened I urinated uncontrollably on the spot. I was fourteen years old then.
One time, while I was in the bathroom, a coin slipped out of the pocket of my pants and rolled into the toilet. My father fiercely scolded me upon knowing it. I was so frightened by him I instantly ran into the bathroom, dug my hand into the feces-stained toilet and groped for the coin…
Oftentimes I sneaked out of home at night and cried my eyes out in the nearby woods. Gazing into heaven, I questioned tearfully, “Why do I have such a father?!”
Every time, my sister would rush to the woods, hold me in her arms and quietly shed tears with me. We both had contemplated suicide. But whenever one of us felt feeble, the other one would encourage her: We must live on toughly.(//www.dajiyuan.com)