父亲在二十多年的迫害中变的非常暴躁。他几乎不和我们姐妹交谈,对我们从没有肯定、赞扬,只有训斥。我每时每刻都得小心被他打骂,整个成长岁月感觉象在地狱里煎熬。
有一次放学后我躺在家里的椅子上歇息,父亲一回来就给了我一巴掌,“看你躺的鬼样!”
有一次我出于好心将家里的相机借给朋友用一下。父亲知道后狠狠的用巴掌抽我的背,对我大吼:“马上给我拿回来!”吓的我当场小便失禁流了满裤子,那时我已十四岁了。
有一次我上洗手间时一个硬币从裤袋里滚进了厕所。父亲发现后狠狠的训斥我,吓的我马上跑进厕所、将手伸进还沾着大便的粪坑里掏……
我常在夜里偷偷溜到家附近的小树林里大哭,望着天空问:“为什么我会有这样的父亲?!”
每次姐姐都跑到小树林来找我,抱着我默默流泪。我们都想过自杀。但每次我们其中一个软弱时,另一个就鼓励对方:我们要坚强的活下去。
(待续)
(英文对照)
Over two decades of persecution had turned my father into a very irritable person. He hardly talked with us sisters; he never praised us, but only scolded us. I had to be alert and cautious at all times so as to avoid his scolding and slapping. I felt like suffering in hell throughout my entire growing years.
One time, while I was lying down on the bench for a break upon getting home from school, my father slapped me on the face the instant he came home. “Look at the awful way you are lying down!”
One time, I lent my father’s camera to a friend out of the goodness of my heart. My father fiercely slapped my back and scolded me upon knowing it, “Get the camera back for me right away!” I was so frightened I urinated uncontrollably on the spot. I was fourteen years old then.
One time, while I was in the bathroom, a coin slipped out of the pocket of my pants and rolled into the toilet. My father fiercely scolded me upon knowing it. I was so frightened by him I instantly ran into the bathroom, dug my hand into the feces-stained toilet and groped for the coin…
Oftentimes I sneaked out of home at night and cried my eyes out in the nearby woods. Gazing into heaven, I questioned tearfully, “Why do I have such a father?!”
Every time, my sister would rush to the woods, hold me in her arms and quietly shed tears with me. We both had contemplated suicide. But whenever one of us felt feeble, the other one would encourage her: We must live on toughly.(//www.dajiyuan.com)