第 18 章 (上)

伊莉莎白走進尼日斐花園的會客室，在一群穿著”紅制服”的人們裏面尋找韋翰先生，找來找去都找不著，這時候她才懷疑他也許不會來了。她本以為他一定會來，雖然想起了過去的種種事情而頗為擔心，可是她的信心並沒有因此受到影響，她比平常更小心地打扮了一番，高高興興地準備要把他那顆沒有被征服的心全部征服，她相信在今天的晚會上，一定會讓她把他那顆心完全贏到手。但是過了一會兒，她起了一種可怕的懷疑：莫不是彬格萊先生請軍官們的時候，為了討達西先生的好，故意沒有請韋翰嗎？雖然事實並非如此，不過他缺席的原委馬上就由他的朋友丹尼先生宣佈了。這是因為麗迪雅迫不及待地問丹尼，丹尼就告訴她們說，韋翰前一天上城裏有事去了，還沒有回來，又帶著意味深長的微笑補充了幾句：”我想，他要不是為了要回避這兒的某一位先生，決不會就這麼湊巧，偏偏這時候因事缺席。”

　　他這個消息麗迪雅雖然沒有聽見，卻給伊莉莎白聽見了。伊莉莎白因此斷定：關於韋翰缺席的原因，雖然她開頭沒有猜對，卻依舊是達西先生一手造成的。她覺得非常掃興，對達西也就越發起了反感，因此接下來當達西走上前來向她問好的時候，她簡直不能好聲好氣地回答他。要知道，對達西殷勤，寬容，忍耐，就等於傷害韋翰。她決定不跟他說一句話，怏怏不樂地掉過頭來就走，甚至跟彬格萊先生說起話來也不大快樂，因為他對達西的盲目偏愛引起了她的氣憤。

　　伊莉莎白天生不大會發脾氣，雖然她今天晚上大為掃興，可是她情緒上並沒有不愉快多少時候。她先把滿腔的愁苦都告訴了那位一星期沒有見面的夏綠蒂?盧卡斯小姐，過了一會兒又自告奮勇地把她表兄奇奇怪怪的情形講給她聽，一面又特別把他指出來給他看。頭兩場舞重新使他覺得煩惱，那是兩場活受罪的跳舞。柯林斯先生又呆笨又刻板，只知道道歉，卻不知道小心一些，往往腳步弄錯了自己還不知道。他真是個十足叫人討厭的舞伴，使她丟盡了臉，受盡了罪。因此，從他手裏解脫出來，真叫她喜歡欲狂。

　　她接著跟一位軍官跳舞，跟他談起韋翰的事。聽他說，韋翰是個到處討人喜愛的人，於是她精神上舒服了許多。跳過這幾場舞以後，她就回到夏綠蒂?盧卡斯身邊，跟她談話，這時候突然聽到達西先生叫她，出其不意地請她跳舞，她吃了一驚，竟然不由自主地答應了他。達西跳過以後便立刻走開了，於是她口口聲聲怪自己為什麼這樣沒主意。夏綠蒂盡力安慰她。你將來一定會發覺他很討人喜歡的。”天不容！那才叫做倒了大的黴呢！下定決心去恨一個人，竟會一下子又喜歡起他來！別這樣咒我吧。”

　　當跳舞重新開始，達西又走到她跟前來請她跳舞的時候，夏綠蒂禁不住跟她咬了咬耳朵，提醒她別做傻瓜，別為了對韋翰有好感，就寧可得罪一個比韋翰的身價高上十倍的人。伊莉莎白沒有回答便下了舞池，她想不到居然會有這樣的體面，跟達西先生面對面跳舞，她看見身旁的人們也同樣露出了驚奇的目光。他們倆跳了一會兒，一句話也沒有交談。她想像著這兩場舞可能一直要沉默到底，開頭決定不要打破這種沉默，後來突然異想天開，認為如果逼得她的舞伴不得不說幾句話，那就會叫他受更大的罪，於是她就說了幾句關於跳舞方面的話。他回答了她的話，接著又是沉默。歇了幾分鐘，她第二次跟他攀談：現在該輪到你談談啦，達西先生。我既然談了跳舞，你就得談談舞池的大小以及有多少對舞伴之類的問題。”

　　他笑了笑，告訴她說，她要他說什麼他就說什麼。好極了；這種回答眼前也說得過去了。待一忽兒我或許會談到私人舞會比公共場所的跳舞會來得好；不過，我們現在可以不必作聲了。”那麼說，你跳起舞來照例總得要談上幾句嗎？”有時候要的。你知道，一個人總得要說些話。接連半個鐘頭待在一塊兒一聲不響，那是夠彆扭的。不過有些人就偏偏巴不得說話愈少愈好，為這些人著想，談話也不妨安排得少一點。”在目前這樣的情況下，你是在照顧你自已的情緒呢，還是想要使我情緒上快慰？”一舉兩得，”伊莉莎白油滑地回答道。”因為我老是感覺到我們倆轉的念頭很相同。你我的性格跟人家都不大合得來，又不願意多說話，難得開口，除非想說幾句一鳴驚人的話，讓大家當作格言來流傳千古。”

　　他說：”我覺得你的性格並不見得就是這樣，我的性格是否有很近似這方面，我也不敢說。你一定覺得你自己形容得很恰當吧。”我當然不能自己下斷語。”

　　他沒有回答，他們倆又沉默了，直等到又下池去跳舞，他這才問她是不是常常和姐妹們上麥裏屯去溜達。她回答說常常去。她說到這裏，實在按捺不住了，便接下去說：”你那天在那兒碰到我們的時候，我們正在結交一個新朋友呢。”

　　這句話立刻發生了效果。一陣傲慢的陰影罩上了他的臉，可是他一句話也沒有說。伊莉莎白說不下去了，不過她心裏卻在埋怨自己軟弱。後來還是達西很勉強地先開口說：韋翰先生生來滿面春風，交起朋友來得心應手。至於他是不是能和朋友們長久相處，那就不大靠得住了。”

　　伊莉莎白加重語氣回答道：”他真不幸，竟失去了您的友誼，而且弄成那麼尷尬的局面，可能會使他一輩子都感受痛苦。”

　　達西沒有回答，好象想換個話題。就在這當兒，威廉?盧卡斯爵士走近他們身邊，打算穿過舞池走到屋子的尋一邊去，可是一看到達西先生，他就停住了，禮貌周全地向他鞠了一躬，滿口稱讚他跳舞跳得好，舞伴又找得好。我真太高興了，親愛的先生，跳得這樣一手好舞，真是少見。你毫無問題是屬於第一流的人材。讓我再嘮叨一句，你這位漂亮的舞伴也真配得上你，我真希望常常有這種眼福，特別是將來有一天某一樁好事如願的時候，親愛的伊莉莎白小姐。”（他朝著她的姐姐和彬格萊望了一眼）”那時候將會有多熱鬧的祝賀場面啊。我要求達西先生：──可是我還是別打攪你吧，先生。你正在和這位小姐談得心醉神迷，如果我耽擱了你，你是不會感激我的，瞧她那了雙明亮的眼睛也在責備我呢。”

　　後半段話達西幾乎沒有聽見。可是威廉爵士提起他那位朋友，卻不免叫他心頭大受震動，於是他一本正經去望著那正在跳舞的彬格萊和吉英。他馬上又鎮定了下來，掉轉頭來對他自己的舞伴說：威廉爵士打斷了我們的話，我簡直記不起我們剛剛談些什麼了。”我覺得我們根本就沒有談什麼。這屋子裏隨便哪兩個人都不比我們說話說得少的，因此威廉爵士打斷不了什麼話。我們已經換過兩三次話題，總是談不投機，以後還要談些什麼，我實在想不出了。”談談書本如何？”他笑著說。書本！噢，不；我相信我們讀過的書不會一樣，我們的體會也各有不同。”你會這樣想，我真抱歉；假定真是那樣，也不見得就無從談起。我們也可以把不同見解比較一下。”不──我無法在舞場裏談書本；我腦子裏老是想著些別的事。”你老是在為眼前的場合煩神，是不是？”他帶著猶疑的眼光問。是的，老是這樣，”她答道。其實她並不知道自己在說些什麼，她的思想跑到老遠的地方去了，你且聽她突然一下子說出這樣的話吧：”達西先生，我記得有一次聽見你說，你生來不能原諒別人──你和別人一結下了怨，就消除不掉。我想，你結的時候總該很慎重的吧？”正是，”他堅決地說。你從來不會受到偏見和蒙蔽嗎？”我想不會。”對於某些堅持已見的人說來，在拿定一個主張的時候，開頭應該特別慎重地考慮一下。”是否可以允許我請教你一聲，你問我這些話用意何在？”

　　她竭力裝出若無其事的神氣說：”只不過為了要解釋解釋你的性格罷了，我想要把你的性格弄個明白。”那麼你究竟弄明白了沒有？”

　　她搖搖頭。”我一點兒也弄不明白。我聽到人家對於你的看法極不一致，叫我不知道相信誰的話才好。”

　　他嚴肅的答道：”人家對於我的看法極不一致，我相信其中一定大有出入。班納特小姐，我希望你目前還是不要刻畫我的性格，我怕這樣做，結果對於你我都沒有好處。”可是，倘若我現在不瞭解你一下，以後就沒有機會了。”

　　於是他冷冷地答道：”我決不會打斷你的興頭。”她便沒有再說下去。他們倆人又跳了一次舞，於是就默默無言地分手了。兩個人都怏怏不樂，不過程度上不同罷了。達西心裏對她頗有好感，因此一下子就原諒了她，把一肚子氣憤都轉到另一個人身上去了。

　　他們倆分手了不多一會兒，彬格萊小姐就走到伊莉莎白跟前來，帶著一種又輕藐又客氣的神氣對她說：噢，伊麗莎小姐，我聽說你對喬治?韋翰很有好感！你姐姐剛才還跟我談到他，問了我一大堆的話。我發覺那年輕的官人雖然把什麼事都說給你聽了，可就偏偏忘了說他自己是老達西先生的帳房老韋翰的兒子。他說達西先生待他不好，那完全是胡說，讓我站在朋友的立場奉勸你，不要盲目相信他的話。達西先生一直待他太好了，只有喬治?韋翰用卑鄙的手段對待達西先生。詳細情形我不清楚，不過這件事我完全知道，一點兒也不應該怪達西先生。達西一聽見人家提到喬治?韋翰就受不了。我哥哥這次宴請軍官們，本來也很難把他剔開，總算他自己知趣，避開了，我哥哥真高興。他跑到這個村裏來真是太荒謬了，我不懂他怎麼竟敢這樣做。伊麗莎小姐，我對你不起，揭穿了你心上人的過錯。可是事實上你只要看看他那種出身，當然就不會指望他幹出什麼好事來。”

　　伊莉莎白生氣地說：”照你的說法，他的過錯和他的出身好象是一回事啦，我倒沒有聽到你說他別的不是，只聽到他罵他是達西先生的帳房的兒子，老實告訴你，這一點他早已親自跟我講過了。”對不起，請原諒我好管閒事；不過我是出於一片好意。”彬格萊小姐說完這話，冷笑了一下，便走開了。無禮的小妞兒！”伊莉莎白自言自語地說。”你可轉錯了念頭啦，你以為這樣卑鄙地攻擊人家一下，就影響了我對人家的看法嗎？你這種攻擊，倒叫我看穿了你自己的頑固無知和達西先生的陰險。”她接著便去找她自己的姐姐，因為姐姐也向彬格萊問起過這件事。只見吉英滿臉堆笑，容光煥發，這足以說明當天晚會上的種種情景使她多麼滿意。伊莉莎白頓時就看出了她的心情；於是頃刻之間就把她自己對於韋翰的想念、對於他仇人們的怨憤，以及其他種種感覺，都打消了，一心只希望吉英能夠順利走上幸福的道路。

　　她也和姐姐同樣滿面堆笑地說道：”我想問問你，你不沒有聽到什麼有關韋翰先生的事？也許你太高興了，想不到第三個人身上去吧；果真是那樣的話，我一定可以諒解你的。”沒有的事，”吉英回答道，”我並沒有忘記他，可惜我沒有什麼滿意的消息可以告訴你。彬格萊先生並不瞭解他的全部底細，至於他主要在哪些方面得罪了達西先生，彬格萊先生更是一無所知；不過他可以擔保他自己的朋友品行良好，誠實正派，他並且以為達西先生過去對待韋翰先生已經好得過分了。說來遺憾，從他的話和她妹妹的話來看韋翰先生決不是一個正派的青年。我怕他果真是太莽撞，也難怪達西先生不去理睬他。”難道彬格萊先生自己不認識韋翰先生嗎？”不認識，那天上午在麥裏屯他還是初次和他見面。”那麼，他這番話是從達西先生那兒聽來的啦。我滿意極了。關於那個牧師的職位的問題，他是怎麼說的？”他只不過聽達西先生說起過幾次，詳細情況他可記不清了，可是他相信，那個職位雖然規定了是給韋翰先生的，可也是有條件的。”

　　伊莉莎白激動地說：”彬格萊先生當然是個誠實君子嘍，可是請你原諒，光憑幾句話並不能叫我信服。彬格萊先生袒護他自己朋友的那些話，也許說得很有力；不過，他既然弄不清這件事的某些情節，而且另外一些情節又是聽他朋友自己說的，那麼，我還是不願意改變我原來對他們兩位先生的看法。”

　　

　　　　　　　　　　　　　Chapter 18 (part 1)

TILL Elizabeth entered the drawing-room at Netherfield and looked in vain for Mr. Wickham among the cluster of red coats there assembled, a doubt of his being present had never occurred to her. The certainty of meeting him had not been checked by any of those recollections that might not unreasonably have alarmed her. She had dressed with more than usual care, and prepared in the highest spirits for the conquest of all that remained unsubdued of his heart, trusting that it was not more than might be won in the course of the evening. But in an instant arose the dreadful suspicion of his being purposely omitted for Mr. Darcy’s pleasure in the Bingleys’ invitation to the officers; and though this was not exactly the case, the absolute fact of his absence was pronounced by his friend Mr. Denny, to whom Lydia eagerly applied, and who told them that Wickham had been obliged to go to town on business the day before, and was not yet returned; adding, with a significant smile,

“I do not imagine his business would have called him away just now, if he had not wished to avoid a certain gentleman here.”

This part of his intelligence, though unheard by Lydia, was caught by Elizabeth, and as it assured her that Darcy was not less answerable for Wickham’s absence than if her first surmise had been just, every feeling of displeasure against the former was so sharpened by immediate disappointment, that she could hardly reply with tolerable civility to the polite inquiries which he directly afterwards approached to make. — Attention, forbearance, patience with Darcy, was injury to Wickham. She was resolved against any sort of conversation with him, and turned away with a degree of ill humour, which she could not wholly surmount even in speaking to Mr. Bingley, whose blind partiality provoked her.

But Elizabeth was not formed for ill-humour; and though every prospect of her own was destroyed for the evening, it could not dwell long on her spirits; and having told all her griefs to Charlotte Lucas, whom she had not seen for a week, she was soon able to make a voluntary transition to the oddities of her cousin, and to point him out to her particular notice. The two first dances, however, brought a return of distress; they were dances of mortification. Mr. Collins, awkward and solemn, apologising instead of attending, and often moving wrong without being aware of it, gave her all the shame and misery which a disagreeable partner for a couple of dances can give. The moment of her release from him was exstacy.

She danced next with an officer, and had the refreshment of talking of Wickham, and of hearing that he was universally liked. When those dances were over she returned to Charlotte Lucas, and was in conversation with her, when she found herself suddenly addressed by Mr. Darcy, who took her so much by surprise in his application for her hand, that, without knowing what she did, she accepted him. He walked away again immediately, and she was left to fret over her own want of presence of mind; Charlotte tried to console her.

“I dare say you will find him very agreeable.”

“Heaven forbid! — That would be the greatest misfortune of all! — To find a man agreeable whom one is determined to hate! — Do not wish me such an evil.”

When the dancing recommenced, however, and Darcy approached to claim her hand, Charlotte could not help cautioning her, in a whisper, not to be a simpleton, and allow her fancy for Wickham to make her appear unpleasant in the eyes of a man of ten times his consequence. Elizabeth made no answer, and took her place in the set, amazed at the dignity to which she was arrived in being allowed to stand opposite to Mr. Darcy, and reading in her neighbours’ looks their equal amazement in beholding it. They stood for some time without speaking a word; and she began to imagine that their silence was to last through the two dances, and at first was resolved not to break it; till suddenly fancying that it would be the greater punishment to her partner to oblige him to talk, she made some slight observation on the dance. He replied, and was again silent. After a pause of some minutes, she addressed him a second time with:

“It is your turn to say something now, Mr. Darcy. — I talked about the dance, and you ought to make some kind of remark on the size of the room, or the number of couples.”

He smiled, and assured her that whatever she wished him to say should be said.

“Very well. — That reply will do for the present. — Perhaps by and by I may observe that private balls are much pleasanter than public ones. — But now we may be silent.”

“Do you talk by rule then, while you are dancing?”

“Sometimes. One must speak a little, you know. It would look odd to be entirely silent for half an hour together, and yet for the advantage of some, conversation ought to be so arranged as that they may have the trouble of saying as little as as possible.”

“Are you consulting your own feelings in the present case, or do you imagine that you are gratifying mine?”

“Both,” replied Elizabeth archly; “for I have always seen a great similarity in the turn of our minds. — We are each of an unsocial, taciturn disposition, unwilling to speak, unless we expect to say something that will amaze the whole room, and be handed down to posterity with all the eclat of a proverb.”

“This is no very striking resemblance of your own character, I am sure,” said he. “How near it may be to mine, I cannot pretend to say. — You think it a faithful portrait undoubtedly.”

“I must not decide on my own performance.”

He made no answer, and they were again silent till they had gone down the dance, when he asked her if she and her sisters did not very often walk to Meryton. She answered in the affirmative, and, unable to resist the temptation, added, “When you met us there the other day, we had just been forming a new acquaintance.”

The effect was immediate. A deeper shade of hauteur overspread his features, but he said not a word, and Elizabeth, though blaming herself for her own weakness, could not go on. At length Darcy spoke, and in a constrained manner said,

“Mr. Wickham is blessed with such happy manners as may ensure his making friends — whether he may be equally capable of retaining them, is less certain.”

“He has been so unlucky as to lose your friendship,” replied Elizabeth with emphasis, “and in a manner which he is likely to suffer from all his life.”

Darcy made no answer, and seemed desirous of changing the subject. At that moment Sir William Lucas appeared close to them, meaning to pass through the set to the other side of the room; but on perceiving Mr. Darcy he stopt with a bow of superior courtesy, to compliment him on his dancing and his partner.

“I have been most highly gratified indeed, my dear Sir. Such very superior dancing is not often seen. It is evident that you belong to the first circles. Allow me to say, however, that your fair partner does not disgrace you, and that I must hope to have this pleasure often repeated, especially when a certain desirable event, my dear Miss Eliza (glancing at her sister and Bingley), shall take place. What congratulations will then flow in! I appeal to Mr. Darcy: — but let me not interrupt you, Sir. — You will not thank me for detaining you from the bewitching converse of that young lady, whose bright eyes are also upbraiding me.”

The latter part of this address was scarcely, heard by Darcy; but Sir William’s allusion to his friend seemed to strike him forcibly, and his eyes were directed with a very serious expression towards Bingley and Jane, who were dancing together. Recovering himself, however, shortly, he turned to his partner, and said,

“Sir William’s interruption has made me forget what we were talking of.”

“I do not think we were speaking at all. Sir William could not have interrupted any two people in the room who had less to say for themselves. — We have tried two or three subjects already without success, and what we are to talk of next I cannot imagine.”

“What think you of books?” said he, smiling.

“Books — Oh! no. — I am sure we never read the same, or not with the same feelings.”

“I am sorry you think so; but if that be the case, there can at least be no want of subject. — We may compare our different opinions.”

“No — I cannot talk of books in a ball-room; my head is always full of something else.”

“The present always occupies you in such scenes — does it?” said he, with a look of doubt.

“Yes, always,” she replied, without knowing what she said, for her thoughts had wandered far from the subject, as soon afterwards appeared by her suddenly exclaiming,

“I remember hearing you once say, Mr. Darcy, that you hardly ever forgave, that your resentment once created was unappeasable. You are very cautious, I suppose, as to its being created.”

“I am,” said he, with a firm voice.

“And never allow yourself to be blinded by prejudice?”

“I hope not.”

“It is particularly incumbent on those who never change their opinion, to be secure of judging properly at first.”

“May I ask to what these questions tend?”

“Merely to the illustration of your character,” said she, endeavouring to shake off her gravity. “I am trying to make it out.”

“And what is your success?”

She shook her head. “I do not get on at all. I hear such different accounts of you as puzzle me exceedingly.”

“I can readily believe,” answered he gravely, “that report may vary greatly with respect to me; and I could wish, Miss Bennet, that you were not to sketch my character at the present moment, as there is reason to fear that the performance would reflect no credit on either.”

“But if I do not take your likeness now, I may never have another opportunity.”

“I would by no means suspend any pleasure of yours,” he coldly replied. She said no more, and they went down the other dance and parted in silence; on each side dissatisfied, though not to an equal degree, for in Darcy’s breast there was a tolerable powerful feeling towards her, which soon procured her pardon, and directed all his anger against another.

They had not long separated when Miss Bingley came towards her, and with an expression of civil disdain thus accosted her,

“So, Miss Eliza, I hear you are quite delighted with George Wickham! — Your sister has been talking to me about him, and asking me a thousand questions; and I find that the young man forgot to tell you, among his other communications, that he was the son of old Wickham, the late Mr. Darcy’s steward. Let me recommend you, however, as a friend, not to give implicit confidence to all his assertions; for as to Mr. Darcy’s using him ill, it is perfectly false; for, on the contrary, he has been always remarkably kind to him, though George Wickham has treated Mr. Darcy, in a most infamous manner. I do not know the particulars, but I know very well that Mr. Darcy is not in the least to blame, that he cannot bear to hear George Wickham mentioned, and that though my brother thought he could not well avoid including him in his invitation to the officers, he was excessively glad to find that he had taken himself out of the way. His coming into the country at all, is a most insolent thing indeed, and I wonder how he could presume to do it. I pity you, Miss Eliza, for this discovery of your favorite’s guilt; but really, considering his descent one could not expect much better.”

“His guilt and his descent appear by your account to be the same,” said Elizabeth angrily; “for I have heard you accuse him of nothing worse than of being the son of Mr. Darcy’s steward, and of that, I can assure you, he informed me himself.”

“I beg your pardon,” replied Miss Bingley, turning away with a sneer. “Excuse my interference. — It was kindly meant.”

“Insolent girl!” said Elizabeth to herself. — “You are much mistaken if you expect to influence me by such a paltry attack as this. I see nothing in it but your own wilful ignorance and the malice of Mr. Darcy.” She then sought her eldest sister, who had undertaken to make inquiries on the same subject of Bingley. Jane met her with a smile of such sweet complacency, a glow of such happy expression, as sufficiently marked how well she was satisfied with the occurrences of the evening. — Elizabeth instantly read her feelings, and at that moment solicitude for Wickham, resentment against his enemies and every thing else gave way before the hope of Jane’s being in the fairest way for happiness.

“I want to know,” said she, with a countenance no less smiling than her sister’s, “what you have learnt about Mr. Wickham. But perhaps you have been too pleasantly engaged to think of any third person, in which case you may be sure of my pardon.”

“No,” replied Jane, “I have not forgotten him; but I have nothing satisfactory to tell you. Mr. Bingley does not know the whole of his history, and is quite ignorant of the circumstances which have principally offended Mr. Darcy; but he will vouch for the good conduct, the probity and honour of his friend, and is perfectly convinced that Mr. Wickham has deserved much less attention from Mr. Darcy than he has received; and I am sorry to say that by his account as well as his sister’s, Mr. Wickham is by no means a respectable young man. I am afraid he has been very imprudent, and has deserved to lose Mr. Darcy’s regard.”

“Mr. Bingley does not know Mr. Wickham himself?”

“No; he never saw him till the other morning at Meryton.”

“This account then is what he has received from Mr. Darcy. I am perfectly satisfied. But what does he say of the living?”

“He does not exactly recollect the circumstances, though he has heard them from Mr. Darcy more than once, but he believes that it was left to him conditionally only.”

“I have not a doubt of Mr. Bingley’s sincerity,” said Elizabeth warmly; “but you must excuse my not being convinced by assurances only. Mr. Bingley’s defence of his friend was a very able one I dare say, but since he is unacquainted with several parts of the story, and has learnt the rest from that friend himself, I shall venture still to think of both gentlemen as I did before.”

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